Tsukuba Monogatari: 25th post
Until I had lunch with Yamazaki-san and Koizumi-san the other day, I had always thought it was the value that Japanese place on “form” that makes them want to mark beginnings and endings, comings and goings. You may die of loneliness in between, but you will be properly welcomed when you arrive and dutifully sent off when you leave. The enthusiasm with which this is carried out is inversely proportional to the frequency of your visits. You can tell when you have become “one of the gang” when people cease to notice whether you are here or there.
It was with some amusement that I anticipated my departure. I have been coming and going with such frequency that the novelty has quite worn off; and I supposed the more Westernized of my trainees by this time do little more than remark to themselves, “Oh, she’s here again,” every time I appear in Tsukuba. Or, “Oh, she’s still here, is she?” in the event that they never noticed that I had left. It’s in such matters as beginnings and endings that the Japanese really show their colors. Usually there’s one person whose Japanese soul cannot allow my arrival or departure to go unacknowledged. This person then puts the screws on another person (younger, and lower-ranking, but old enough to be susceptible to such pressure) to organize an “event.” This can range from making a few phone calls and a reservation at a restaurant to sending a memo, collecting money, and staging a reunion of major proportions. I hate to see anyone go to that amount of trouble. I would rather sneak away in the middle of the night than see anyone go through all that.
Therefore last week at lunch when Yamazaki-san found out I was leaving on the 23rd and “suggested” to Koizumi-san that he should organize a farewell party, I brought out my “secret weapon.” I told them I was coming back in January. I figured that would take the wind right out of their sails. Koizumi -san laughed and said I shouldn’t have mentioned it. So I explained that it really wasn’t necessary to organize a party for me every time I came or went, especially since I was coming and going so frequently.
That’s when I found out the truth about form. According to Yamazaki-san, the parties are not really for me. I am just a good excuse. It’s a good opportunity for people from different departments to get together and shoot the breeze. “Well, in that case,” I said, trying to decide whether to feel insulted or relieved, “use me.”
Form, my foot.
“Kampai“: Courtesy of Dominiek ter Heide. Licensed under cc by 2.0.
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